Two years ago, my best friend and I had an NYE experience in Indonesia, which was a bit of a culture shock. This time, we decided to see what Malaysia has in store. I thought it would be nice to spend it in the country's food capital – Penang.
Penang is renowned for its amazing food, so visiting this part of the world means you can't be on a diet. We constantly ate from the moment we checked into our Airbnb until we boarded the plane to our next destination. Who cares about those extra pounds when the food is absolutely amazing?
We stayed in George Town, and I heard that New Year's Eve celebrations in this colorful city are interesting. That morning, I bought a dress I don't usually wear, but it felt good. I rarely dress up and don't even feel confident wearing a dress, but that day, I really liked looking at myself. I haven't felt that great in a long time.
New Year’s Eve in George Town, Penang
After getting ready, we went out for the evening. I wore a dress that accentuated my figure, and I didn't bother wearing a bra. I've always felt self-conscious about my body, especially because I have a small frame and a large bust. I used to hide it to avoid unwanted attention from men. I was afraid that wearing revealing clothes would send the wrong message. However, I've realized that this mindset is toxic and leads to discomfort and negative body image. Lately, I've been trying to step out of my comfort zone and wear clothes I wouldn't normally wear.
We spent the evening walking around George Town looking for some fun. It's important to mention that George Town has a vibrant and diverse nightlife scene. Normally, when I travel, I don't go out at night, so I'm not really into the nightlife scene. However, since it was New Year's Eve in a different country, I decided to give it a try. Who knows, I might find something interesting. We came across several street shows and parties as we walked down every street.
My friend and I went inside a food bazaar, and I noticed some guys staring at me because of my outfit. It was uncomfortable as they kept staring at me while I was eating. However, since I didn't show any interest in them, they didn't approach our table and minded their own business.
At one point, a guy suddenly approached us and started making small talk. Then he tried to ask for our number or social media profiles. We politely declined, and he said, "It's okay. Enjoy your vacation in Penang, lovely Filipinas!" He then left with a smile on his face. Later that night, we saw him again, and he just waved at us.
A few hours before midnight, we started looking for a good spot to just chill and wait for the New Year countdown. We found a bar with a good vantage point of the Komtar Tower, which is probably one of the most iconic buildings in the central business district of George Town. We were sipping margaritas, and even then, I could still see men inside the bar staring, but they didn't bother us because we weren't showing any interest.
3,2,1… Happy New Year!
After the New Year countdown, we immediately left and walked back to our Airbnb. We were extra careful the whole night. As a female traveler, I know that I should always be vigilant. We didn’t drink too much alcohol, as it leads to poor decision-making and accidents. We also avoided the parties and sketchy streets. Still, anything can happen at any time.
As we were approaching our Airbnb, we suddenly felt cold, sweaty hands touching our shoulders. My friend and I immediately put ourselves in a defensive position because no one else was on the street, and it was way past midnight. We didn’t notice that an old man was following us. Luckily, we were still two blocks away from our Airbnb. I don’t want to think about what could have happened if he had managed to follow us right to our door.
We told him to stop touching us and he backed off a little bit but continued to follow us anyway. At this point, I told my best friend that we should go to a nearby coffee shop if he still wouldn’t go away. We started walking as fast as we could, and as we were approaching the last block towards our Airbnb, he managed to grab us again and tried to put his arm around our shoulders. My friend immediately blurted out, “If you touch us again, we will call the police.” And to that, he sped off.
I didn’t plan on writing about this because it wasn’t a big deal for me. I’ve experienced worse, and as much as possible, I don’t want to revisit that part of my life. However, I realized that this incident was interesting. It made me realize that there are two types of men in the world.
Some people will say it was my fault because I was wearing such a dress. Come on, I decided to wear something that made me feel good about myself, and now it’s my fault? Saying that it was my fault for wearing such ‘provocative’ clothing dismisses all the good men in the world who understand what consent is.
Remember, there were a bunch of men who stared and even approached us that night, but why did they not force themselves on us? Why did we not experience unwelcome sexual advances from them?
Because they understood that when women say no, it’s NO.
This incident didn’t spoil the fun I had in Penang. This will also not make me dress more ‘modestly’ just to be ‘respected’. I was inspired by a statement made by Miss Universe 2019 Zozibini Tunzi regarding the challenges faced by women in South Africa. When asked about the abuse women endure in South Africa, she responded, “We have absolutely no reason to keep smiling because South African women are dying every day, and mostly, people are doing nothing about it. I think it’s time that we stop asking women what to do and start asking perpetrators to do better, to be better.”
As long as I am not disrespecting the dress code and culture of a country, I will continue wearing whatever makes me feel good about myself.
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